Hard Core Hits the Road: Ryan and Jess's Wedding Celebration

Jess had these T-shirts made as a wedding gift to Ryan!

The person who introduced me to my husband got married Friday. Ryan married Jess in a private ceremony with only close family in attendance, so my merry band of non-restaurant goers was not invited. However, we were invited to the reception the next day, and the bride and groom joined us on the evening of their wedding for a feast prepared in our hotel room’s kitchenette.

I didn’t remember to take any pictures until after dinner Friday, all I have to show you is this picture of our trip food, minus the snacks we’ve already eaten and the feast we just served for five adults and one child.

Of course, as you may have noticed from my posts last week, I packed all our food in from home—in the trusty little mule we call Toyota Sienna. I wish I could have pulled my wits together to take a picture at midnight on Thursday (the night before we left), when we had completed two days of straight cooking (not to mention all that pre-cooking preparation) and all the containers were stacked on my counter like the Great Wall of local veggies, and the free-range, local, hormone free turkey was sitting upright, fresh off the smoking rack. I’m pretty used to the idea of making everything from scratch at this point, but even I was in awe of the volume of evidence that we had completed such a huge task. Armed with all that homemade food, there was no need to sample truck stop or fast food fare.

Stack of homemade snacks.

This was our first road trip since deciding to be restaurant dropouts. As we drove along the highways and back-roads of Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, and New York, our eyes were assaulted every few miles by ads directing us to fast food places like McDonalds, Taco Bell, Burger King, and Kentucky Fried Chicken. Rather than being tempted, I found it was like finding someone else’s to-do list on the pavement. “Call Ronald, take the Chihuahua to the vet, list the crown on e-bay, don’t forget the fry oil,” it read. I noticed it, dismissed it. Like the note, those signs weren’t for me. (Though, I do hope they take that Chihuahua to the vet, his bark just isn’t right.) Leaving the packaged food behind and resisting restaurant signs turned out to be no trouble at all.

Room service, straight from my kitchenette.

We must have been sharing most of our route with a sweetener company, because we were passed every so often by tanker trucks boasting to be carrying sweeteners and to have been supplying the nation with liquid and powdered sweeteners for over twenty five years. They were huge trucks. Dwarfed by one at a stop light, I looked at Brian and said, “Do you realize that humans are going to consume the entire contents of that tank.” “Yep,” was his simple reply. “How much of that stuff do you think I have consumed over my lifetime?” I asked, still staring at the enormous jug of yuck on wheels. “Probably at least a tanker full,” he said, giving me no reassurance. (My guess is that he is probably right, and then some.) We had just been reading about the use of saccharin and aspartame in beers in the European Union, where artificial sweeteners are perfectly acceptable even in gourmet cooking, and lord knows I’ve had my share of rare, imported, high-brow stout and porter.

Cheers! Kombucha and blueberry limeade!

In place of the fake food pushed by corporate giants, my family and I snacked on yogurt dough cookies, homemade crackers, popcorn, fruit, and veggies, until it was time to pull off at a national park and have a walk. Instead of looking for a restaurant with a playground, we ran down the paths at Gettysburg, and on our way, took frequent breaks to touch, smell, and experience the abundant wildflowers. A roadside picnic area held just as much fun for Mia as any enclosed play area—possibly more. We took a walk up a state service road and picked a bouquet of wildflowers. She held them clutched in her tiny hand all the way back down the trail, even after falling asleep on Mama’s shoulder!

The reason I love him, over toast.

Saturday was the wedding reception. We spent the entire morning recovering from our long drive by lounging around the hotel. In our hotel room kitchen, we cooked the best vacation breakfast I have ever had. Sourdough toast, yogurt with homemade blueberry sauce, fruit, hard boiled eggs (the trick is to reheat pre-boiled eggs in a little boiling water), and spiced rooibos tea (brewed in the hotel’s coffee pot). With all the good food, both on the road and after our arrival, I marveled at how I felt. (No bloating, no swollen fingers, and no general discomfort, something that I thought was just the norm for a long drive.) While Brian gave Mia a bath and then played trucks with her on the floor, I did Pilates and Classical Stretch. By the time I was done, I was so full of energy I could have mistaken our kitchenette for a room at a five-star health spa. After a mid-morning snack, we were refreshed and ready for wedding festivities.

The celebration was informal. We gathered with the bride and groom’s friends and family in a covered picnic area at the local park for a BBQ reception. Before changing into his and hers T-shirts (Jess’s read, “I found my husband on Craigslist” and Ryan’s, “I found my wife on Craigslist”), the bride and groom donned their wedding attire (a second time) so we could all take pictures. The setting was perfect—grassy fields and a stream for the kids to play in, a pavilion to cover the picnickers if the grey sky turned to rain (but it didn’t), and lots of snacks and food. Ryan and Jess even thought to make sure there were fun kid activities, like coloring books, bubble blowers, and flat-ended dart games.

Even Mia likes a little sip at breakfast!

What I admire most about the way Ryan and Jess celebrated their big I-do is that everything from baking the cake, making the bouquets, and cooking the food was done by a friend or relative. I’m sure they saved money that way, but in my view, that’s not the point. By giving everyone a job, they made their guests an integral part of the event. It reminded me of my family’s traditional wedding celebrations in their hometown in Texas, where the community routinely throws large celebrations and everyone pitches in. Taking a hands-on approach and asking guests to do the same makes an event very special and is something I truly appreciate.

Homemade wedding cake, beautiful even after a little heat! Awesome job ladies!

I’ve been to several six-figure weddings and social events, and (though I know the hosts fretted over their choices for months) I can’t tell you what color tablecloths and napkins were on the table, what flowers they used, or even what main course I had, but I will always remember making dinner for Ryan and Jess the night they got married (and I’ll know it was smoked turkey). Ryan’s nieces (and their mothers and grandmothers) will never forget baking and decorating the cake, worrying about the color of the icing, and buzzing around it like worried bees when the heat made it melt just a little. Edward will always know he made the baked beans, and had to do them twice when something went wrong with the first batch. Graham will never forget rolling in with loads of charcoal in his big red pickup truck (bumper sticker reads, “Dick Chaney shoots his friends”) and getting the burgers on the grill. Jess’s friend in the blue dress will always remember sewing the beads on her wedding gown. Wei will remember going to the open market in the morning, buying veggies, and making the tomato and cucumber salad. And, Kelly will always remember getting there early to set up and successfully pulling it all together when everyone came straggling in with their dishes at the last minute. And, the list goes on.

Picking wildflowers in Pennsylvania. Who needs a McDonald's playground?

The joining of friends and family is a service that not even a world class hotel like the Four Seasons or the Waldorf can offer. Jess and Ryan will remember each piece of their celebration along with it the friend or relative who had a part in it. And, I think they are brilliant to have planned it all out the way they did!

For those who are curious, my family did avoid processed foods at the reception. We had planned on eating BBQ, and simply skipping anything processed, but by the time food was served, Mia was tired and it had been a long day, so we went back to our hotel to let her nap and eat a sandwich. I packed whole grain yogurt dough cookies in my purse for a snack for Mia, which helped us resist the urge to give her candy from the dishes that decorated the tables. We got back in time to see the bride and groom cut the cake, and for the sake of propriety, and to honor all the work that went into it, Brian and I did share a small piece of the wedding cake. It was delicious and sugary, but a few bites were all we needed to wish the bride and groom on their way to a happy and long future together!

Lunch in our hotel room.

Instead of just leaving the reception for someone else to clean up, the guests helped clear away gifts, leftovers, and garbage. Brian and I volunteered to haul a load of wedding items back to Ryan and Jess’s house in our van. It was the least we could do. As we said goodbye in their front drive, I thought, “With family and friends to support them, Ryan and Jess are off to a great start!”

Some fun items to consider: